The Dry Cycle

"I want my quarters back" I said to the laundromat lady.

"but u clothes wash." she said.

"Yes, but without water. That does not count." I said staring into the machine at my soap covered dry clothes.

This was the end of what has become my quest to wash my own clothes so they smell good when they come out of the dryer. I have been living in New York for some time and I have yet to figure out the secret formula for that "fresh-straight out of the dryer" smell. I'm pretty much convinced it does not exist unless you own your own machine.

I have tried several different laundry places, even in different boroughs. I have tried different detergents, dryer sheets, wash cycles, you name it.

I had one ray of hope recently while visiting my sister in Colorado. I noticed her clothes smell overwhelmingly good. and strong. I asked, "what is your secret?"

"Dreft."

"Never heard of it."

Probably because I don't have babies. Its a baby detergent. The #1 choice of Pediatricians.

But I thought, I'm on to something. When I got back to New York, I searched for this secret detergent. My friends with babies were like, yeah I've heard of it. You can find it most anywhere.

Well, not if you live in Chinatown. I finally found a bottle at a Duane Reed on the Upper West Side. There just happened to be a really cute guy in the aisle at the same time and I fumbled with the bottle. This is awkward. I turned to him and said. "I don't have kids...I ..I just like the smell." I have to admit it wasn't my best pickup line but. It didn't work.

Anyway, having thought I had finally found the secret to good smelling clothes, I excitedly waited for laundry day. (wednesday..sometimes Thursday depending on motivation).

Thursday, I marched over to the laundromat threw my clothes in the washer, with a certain sense of satisfaction mind you. Turned the machine on. Returned 28 minutes later to find my clothes spinning with no water in the machine. That's it! I went over to the Laundry lady which resulted in the above conversation.

I'm not sure if this is some wicked attempt at making me celebrate Earth Day with an absurd round of water conservation but I wasn't celebrating.

I'm done. I have given up. I surrender. I'm waiving the white sheet.
P.S. It's dry and its covered in Dreft.