I’m was at home tonight having a nice polite conversation in the kitchen with my roommate who just got back from Philadelphia. (without a tan.) She casually turns to me and asks.
“Have you seen what’s in our bath tub?”
“OhMyGod.” I am now standing in the living room. “WHAT. IS. IN. OUR. BATHTUB.” My eyes glued open.
“Just go look,” she says.
“IS IT A TARANTULA?” I scream.
“No, just go look.” She is annoyed.
“IS IT A REPTILE?” I am still in the living room. "IS IT A SHARK??"
I then do that bug in your hair dance where you shake every part of your body while jumping up and down. I become nauseous. I am sweating.
“Stop freaking out. It’s not that bad.” She says pushing me into the dark WC. Yeah but it depends on your definition of bad. A bathtub full of gin. Not so bad. A bathtub full of leeches. Bad.
I flip the light on and find…. a beach. A beach in our bathtub.
“What in the hell.” I cry out the bathroom door.
“I know, what you think it is?” she asks.
Either Philadelphia just got really tropical or she went on a beach vacation without telling me.
“Um, did you go to Mexico sans Sarah? Was shaking out your towels in our bathtub your way of breaking it to me?” I asked annoyed staring at the mess.
But as I looked closer I thought Mexico doesn’t have sheetrock and crown molding.
This is almost an inch thick spraying of debris throughout the bathtub. I scanned the walls and ceiling very closely and there was no signs of a puncture, a drill whole, or even a dent. Where did this come from?
My roommate was now standing back in the bathroom asking where I thought it might have come from.
“The cat dragged it in.” referring to a cat that had broken into our apartment once. She rolled her eyes.
I didn’t know, but now I was pulling on the faucets on the curtain rods climbing up on the tub to look at the water heater. Nothing. I couldn’t believe it. No holes in the ceiling. In the walls. The window wasn't open. It was a mystery.
My roommate asked what we should do about it. She wanted to take a bath.
“I’m sure it will make a nice exfoliant.” I said.
I always wanted to live on the beach.
“Have you seen what’s in our bath tub?”
“OhMyGod.” I am now standing in the living room. “WHAT. IS. IN. OUR. BATHTUB.” My eyes glued open.
“Just go look,” she says.
“IS IT A TARANTULA?” I scream.
“No, just go look.” She is annoyed.
“IS IT A REPTILE?” I am still in the living room. "IS IT A SHARK??"
I then do that bug in your hair dance where you shake every part of your body while jumping up and down. I become nauseous. I am sweating.
“Stop freaking out. It’s not that bad.” She says pushing me into the dark WC. Yeah but it depends on your definition of bad. A bathtub full of gin. Not so bad. A bathtub full of leeches. Bad.
I flip the light on and find…. a beach. A beach in our bathtub.
“What in the hell.” I cry out the bathroom door.
“I know, what you think it is?” she asks.
Either Philadelphia just got really tropical or she went on a beach vacation without telling me.
“Um, did you go to Mexico sans Sarah? Was shaking out your towels in our bathtub your way of breaking it to me?” I asked annoyed staring at the mess.
But as I looked closer I thought Mexico doesn’t have sheetrock and crown molding.
This is almost an inch thick spraying of debris throughout the bathtub. I scanned the walls and ceiling very closely and there was no signs of a puncture, a drill whole, or even a dent. Where did this come from?
My roommate was now standing back in the bathroom asking where I thought it might have come from.
“The cat dragged it in.” referring to a cat that had broken into our apartment once. She rolled her eyes.
I didn’t know, but now I was pulling on the faucets on the curtain rods climbing up on the tub to look at the water heater. Nothing. I couldn’t believe it. No holes in the ceiling. In the walls. The window wasn't open. It was a mystery.
My roommate asked what we should do about it. She wanted to take a bath.
“I’m sure it will make a nice exfoliant.” I said.
I always wanted to live on the beach.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment