In this economy it makes me wonder how our block can survive with not one, but two, Mexican grocery stores.
Don Juan grocery is like a little slice of Tijuana. A lot of weird food, trinkets, cheep beer, drunk immigrants standing around and homeless people. Every time I go over there it is a 30 minute adventure. The Bodega/Deli/Convenience store (depending on your part of the country) is about 10 steps from my door and what would be a run in and run out 1 minute trip almost ALWAYS turns into a nail biting crescendo of confusion at the cash register.
First of all Don Juan grocery has the most random items found at a grocery store. Pinto Beans, Chex Mix, fake chardonnay, pre packaged cups of ice, and lots and lots of jars of olives. Where this stuff comes from, I have no idea, but chances are the expiration date might have been scratched off.
People at the DJ Grocery range from your typical shopper; chips, soda, coffee with 8 sugars- to that guy with the eye-patch. There is also the orange hair homeless guy, short Dominican grey haired dude who stands between aisle one and two and people who often need change.
I want to stop on this subject for a second. Seriously how many people could need change in one night? I was at the competing grocery store across the street creatively named Mexican Grocery Store, where one night, I was in there buying coconut water and one yellow onion and a guy walked in and DEMANDED 60 $1 dollar bills in change for three twenties. What is he going to do with those I wonder? I'll leave it to your imagination, but this happens at least 20 times a night. I know, because every time I am in there 2 or 3 people ask for change.
The Mexican Grocery Store is not too bad. I only go in there because they sell Pace Queso in a jar and pre-zippy bagged cilantro! The woman behind the register with red-purple hair reminds me of the sister from Ugly Betty crossed with Cindy Lauper. She is always chewing gum and probably on her cell phone. One day I was in there to buy queso and it came in a three pack with two salsa jars. I asked her if she sold them separately. Without hesitation, she got out a pen and stabbed the cellophane holding them together, pulled them out and said..."yeah", chew chew chew. “Um...thanks” I said.
I mean, that is customer service if you ask me. Both stores always have a lot of people standing around coupled with VERY loud mariachi music and lots and lots of shouting. I almost always look like a deer in headlights trying to run across a 50 lane highway under construction.
Speaking of construction, Don Juan actually just remodeled. When they closed up the windows, I thought that was it, they are going out of business…..but no, they were closed for remodeling. I thought, oh nice maybe they will put in a legitimate freezer section, not just pinacolda mix and cool whip. I was then thinking maybe they will put in a coffee bar or even a fresh food section, rather than one tomatilla sitting on the counter.
Well apparently, "remodeling" means putting in stainless steal stackable wire kitchen racks, a place where they can store their Cotton Candy and Coriander.
Don Juan grocery is like a little slice of Tijuana. A lot of weird food, trinkets, cheep beer, drunk immigrants standing around and homeless people. Every time I go over there it is a 30 minute adventure. The Bodega/Deli/Convenience store (depending on your part of the country) is about 10 steps from my door and what would be a run in and run out 1 minute trip almost ALWAYS turns into a nail biting crescendo of confusion at the cash register.
First of all Don Juan grocery has the most random items found at a grocery store. Pinto Beans, Chex Mix, fake chardonnay, pre packaged cups of ice, and lots and lots of jars of olives. Where this stuff comes from, I have no idea, but chances are the expiration date might have been scratched off.
People at the DJ Grocery range from your typical shopper; chips, soda, coffee with 8 sugars- to that guy with the eye-patch. There is also the orange hair homeless guy, short Dominican grey haired dude who stands between aisle one and two and people who often need change.
I want to stop on this subject for a second. Seriously how many people could need change in one night? I was at the competing grocery store across the street creatively named Mexican Grocery Store, where one night, I was in there buying coconut water and one yellow onion and a guy walked in and DEMANDED 60 $1 dollar bills in change for three twenties. What is he going to do with those I wonder? I'll leave it to your imagination, but this happens at least 20 times a night. I know, because every time I am in there 2 or 3 people ask for change.
The Mexican Grocery Store is not too bad. I only go in there because they sell Pace Queso in a jar and pre-zippy bagged cilantro! The woman behind the register with red-purple hair reminds me of the sister from Ugly Betty crossed with Cindy Lauper. She is always chewing gum and probably on her cell phone. One day I was in there to buy queso and it came in a three pack with two salsa jars. I asked her if she sold them separately. Without hesitation, she got out a pen and stabbed the cellophane holding them together, pulled them out and said..."yeah", chew chew chew. “Um...thanks” I said.
I mean, that is customer service if you ask me. Both stores always have a lot of people standing around coupled with VERY loud mariachi music and lots and lots of shouting. I almost always look like a deer in headlights trying to run across a 50 lane highway under construction.
Speaking of construction, Don Juan actually just remodeled. When they closed up the windows, I thought that was it, they are going out of business…..but no, they were closed for remodeling. I thought, oh nice maybe they will put in a legitimate freezer section, not just pinacolda mix and cool whip. I was then thinking maybe they will put in a coffee bar or even a fresh food section, rather than one tomatilla sitting on the counter.
Well apparently, "remodeling" means putting in stainless steal stackable wire kitchen racks, a place where they can store their Cotton Candy and Coriander.
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1 comment:
ok, seriously: do you know how good of a writer you are?! if cbs only knew... have you told them lately?
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