Going Postal

Why is the post office so damn confusing?? but before I get to that. .....

Attn: People With Kids. STOP bringing your kids to the post office. For some reason they find all the pens chained to the countertops very fascinating and will not let me have one to write with. So I can send something.

Suggestion: chain pens to your countertops at home and let them play with them while you go to the post office. Thank you.
....

I feel like I have spent the last six months trying to figure out the post office.

Trying to be a reporter it is a necessary hell to have to send tapes to news directors. I have sent out plenty of tapes...huhummm(throat clear) 26...Okay that is not a whole lot, but it at least counts for something.

Every time I go to the post office I feel like I do not have a system. If I were to go to Sonic I would say a grilled cheese sandwich and a diet Dr. Pepper (for the record I don't like DP, only when it is from Sonic) See, I have a system because I know what is on the menu.

I do not know what is on the post office menu. I think it has something to do with if it doesn't have an email address, I don't send it.

Have you noticed they have a menu? All these things to consider: express, priority, first class. Why can't they just have numbers, like combos.

"Yes, I will take a number one with a side of confirmation, thanks."

Today, at the post office I learned a new term. Always learning at the post office. The term was Media Mail. Apparently, if you are sending something like a book or a tape, it is less expensive to send it as media mail. Well Bob's your uncle, where was this term six months ago.

As of today I have spent $ 146.27 on postage, mailers, overnights, expresses and this figure does not include the cost to actually make a tape. I wish I had heard of MEDIA MAIL sooner!

The postal employee who rang me up said "oh its a tape, well we'll send it media mail," as though this was as obvious as Miss Puerto Rico winning Miss Universe with her chain-link fence evening gown.

He said, "Oh you didn't know about this?"

I said, "NO, it wasn't on the menu!"

You had the wrong dream

"You failed because you had the wrong dream."

That was what I wrote on a post-it note and handed to my father this morning after another one of our "life talks."

That was what Diego said to George in the movie "Blow" while they were sitting in prison talking about his life.

That was a quote I wrote down when I was at my last job. Funny it should come to mind now. Again.

My dad asked me if I could do three things right now (beside work for him) what would they be.

He filled in one of them for me, which I felt was a bit unfair. It was to take this insurance job down the street.

I was pressured to come up with two more. They had to be good.

Before I could answer he said. Maybe you should take one of those tests. The ones that tell you what you should do in life.

I nodded my head and thought , "god it is early." "Is it 8:30?"

"What, you don't believe in the tests?" dad said.

"No," is all I said.

"Well maybe it would help you figure out what you don't want to do," he said.

I said I already knew that. I can't be in the medical field. I WILL pass out. I can't be a vet, and I can't be president.

"Can you be an attorney?" he asked.

I don't mind law. I just like crime better. That is why I like the media.. Crime, Crime, Crime. Weather, Weather, Weather...isn't that the mantra.

"Why don't you take the GRE?"

I won't pass it. NOT a test taker.

"Well not with that attitude," he said.

STILL not a test taker.

"Have you thought about your MBA?" again.

Look, I don't want to go back to school. I don't like classes. I don't like tests or notes or textbooks. Why did I graduate in 3.5 years?

"Because you ran out of money?"

I did because I wanted to learn while I was out there, not because some professor said it would be this way. I did it because I ALREADY knew what I wanted. The reason people stay in school is because they don't know what they want. They can't make any decisions. I knew. I was motivated. I finished so I could chase the dream.

"Was broadcast the dream?"

Yes, that is what I wanted to do. That was the original option. That is the first option. It is also the second and the third to answer your earlier question.

That was when I thought of the quote.

Get Out of My Network

I changed my network on Facebook. I had to change it to Tulsa. Otherwise I felt like I was lying to facebook.

Okay technically I have been lying to everyone for six months. My network used to be Dallas, but I didn't live in Dallas.

I didn't realize it would make such a big difference until people kept messaging me saying "hey we should hang out" and I'm like "K I'll be right over."

I was living in Ardmore. Okay, the cat is out of the friggin bag people.

I WAS LIVING IN ARDMORE!!.

Now that I am out of there. I can feel free to admit that. My friends were driving through town a few weeks ago to pick me up. They got to my house and called me. First thing they said was "Pop Quiz Sarah!" ..."What state do you live in?"

I live in Oklahoma. I haven't moved out of the state.

They said I used to say...."Oh you are driving through Dallas, well you should stop by." I was in denial.

So, I changed my network to Tulsa. I'm feeling good about it. I'm not lying anymore. People can now message me and say "how's Tulsa?" and I don't have to think in the back of my head...."I wish I knew" like I did with Dallas.

But at the end of the day, does it really matter what network I am in? Does it really change anything? Isn't the point of a network to be in touch with people? Can't we do that outside our network? If I had changed my network to Dubai would people really considered not keeping in touch...."Oh Dubai...that's a bit out of my network."

I would hope not. So, Tulsa it is. And I invite anyone in the tri-state area networks to contact me to go out. I feel confident I can handle the rejection of not being in the Dallas network anymore...even though geographically I was never really "there" in the first place.

And to avoid any further discrepancies, I actually live in Broken Arrow.

There I said it.

Lucky to be alive

"i was sitting waiting wishing you believe in superstitions then maybe you'd see the signs. lord knows that this world is cruel and I aint the lord no i'm just a fool." - Jack Johnson

I'm at Lacey's house waiting to go to the lake. I would already be at the lake if I hadn't almost died last night.

I was on 1-44 heading south, four lanes, in traffic. The guy in front of me stopped on a dime and I swerved to miss him and instead of heading over the embankment, over corrected and headed back into traffic, my brakes locked and I spun one eighty to land my self in the center lane with traffic barreling head on.

Luckily a lady in a white pathfinder screeched her brakes and stopped before tunneling head on into me at 65 miles per hour. I could see her face through her windshield, I don't doubt that it was a mirror of mine.

Several cars had swerved to miss me. The others stopped.

A semi stopped, a jeep, and about 6 other cars, all four lanes were blocked and the Murano was staring everyone down like a sick game of chicken.

The lady and everyone else hopped out of their cars and came to my window and asked me to roll it down. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to roll the windows down.

I just sat stunned.

The lady asked me if I could drive it to the shoulder. I told her It wouldn't drive.

It wouldn't drive because I had my foot so firmly planted in the brake that it was going to take a crobar to pry it away from the pedal.

She asked if I needed someone to drive it to the shoulder. I said I could do it, as soon as I figured out how to drive.

I managed to get it to the shoulder. A black man in a straw hat waved traffic through while all the drivers who had jumped out of their cars got back in their cars.

The lady came over to my car and said she couldn't believe what she had seen. She asked if I was okay. Lacey was in front of me the whole time. She had watch the what she describes as Nascar events playout in her rearview mirror. She had parked her car on the shoulder and walked back to the scene. She was in shock. I thought I was going to have to drive HER car back.

We drove the Murano to Pep Boys and they said I had broken my tie rods, also some problems with the steering column. They said I was lucky to be alive.

I called my dad, he said I was lucky to be alive.

Today the dealership took my car in and they said I was lucky to be alive.

So I am at laceys, carless, jobless, lakeless, but damn lucky to be alive.