Rule #28

I didn't get the job. I told them my dreams, but failed to mention how I would follow them.

Most people when starting out don't know how to lie about what they really want to do. They just go right ahead and say it. Lay it out there on the table for everyone to gawk at. As if it might actually happen.

But I found that rule #28 in my new finding a job ..RULES.

Never EVER be so candid as to tell them what your hopes and dreams are. God forbid if they think that is what you ACTUALLY want to DO. and not actually this job you are applying for.

I know you can't jump from a lily pad to the top of the tree.

I am just saying at what point do you say............."I will do ANYTHING in this business as long as there is some slight chance..and I mean slight like Simon Cowell's 'celebrity duets' surviving one season..slight chance that it will get me to where I need to be."

If you are applying for a job, is it completely asinine to say...I will do "this" to get "here" or I will do "that" to get "there?"

It shouldn't be.

Employers don't actually think that you are going to stay in the mail room forever.

Do they want you to say (and I hate to quote for my old children's book collection, but I will) "I WANT THIS, I NEED THIS, I HAVE TO HAVE THIS."

But in the back of your head there is some ulterior motive. You don't really HAVE to have this, but you'll take it just to be in the business.

I mean, are they really in the business of making dreams come true? Are they suddenly the MADE coaches for MTV? Are they waiting for that special candidate that THIS is their dream.

Do the candidates say that in the interview?

"Oh god this is my dream!"

......

Maybe that's where I have gone wrong.

I haven't been in that interview yet.

Caffeine Overdose

Dad,

If you are wondering what that sweet aroma of Foldgers is in your office, I did not install a coffee maker in there, I used it as an astringent for your magoganey desk.

Well, I sortof "spilled" coffee on your desk. It wasn't so much ON your desk as it was on your computer, but really it wasn't on your computer, so much as it was in between that gap from the desk to the computer, so technically it didn't flood any ONE area.

Alot of it landed on the nice plastic floor mat and everything from G over on the keyboard. Okay some of it splashed on the number 8 and 9 key, but that was only when I tried to juggle the cup of coffee in my hand. My hand-eye coordination got the best of me and I managed to save some of it....okay little of it.

So, if you notice your whole office has been dusted and is in fact somewhat clean, which is how I thought you might notice in the first place I spilled coffee on parts of your desk, don't worry. I also plan on retyping ALL of EVERY important sticky note, pin number, business card, account number and passcode you store in the general area I spilled all of the coffee.

Once again I am sorry, I will never go in your office again. Get well soon.

Sarah

Going Postal

Why is the post office so damn confusing?? but before I get to that. .....

Attn: People With Kids. STOP bringing your kids to the post office. For some reason they find all the pens chained to the countertops very fascinating and will not let me have one to write with. So I can send something.

Suggestion: chain pens to your countertops at home and let them play with them while you go to the post office. Thank you.
....

I feel like I have spent the last six months trying to figure out the post office.

Trying to be a reporter it is a necessary hell to have to send tapes to news directors. I have sent out plenty of tapes...huhummm(throat clear) 26...Okay that is not a whole lot, but it at least counts for something.

Every time I go to the post office I feel like I do not have a system. If I were to go to Sonic I would say a grilled cheese sandwich and a diet Dr. Pepper (for the record I don't like DP, only when it is from Sonic) See, I have a system because I know what is on the menu.

I do not know what is on the post office menu. I think it has something to do with if it doesn't have an email address, I don't send it.

Have you noticed they have a menu? All these things to consider: express, priority, first class. Why can't they just have numbers, like combos.

"Yes, I will take a number one with a side of confirmation, thanks."

Today, at the post office I learned a new term. Always learning at the post office. The term was Media Mail. Apparently, if you are sending something like a book or a tape, it is less expensive to send it as media mail. Well Bob's your uncle, where was this term six months ago.

As of today I have spent $ 146.27 on postage, mailers, overnights, expresses and this figure does not include the cost to actually make a tape. I wish I had heard of MEDIA MAIL sooner!

The postal employee who rang me up said "oh its a tape, well we'll send it media mail," as though this was as obvious as Miss Puerto Rico winning Miss Universe with her chain-link fence evening gown.

He said, "Oh you didn't know about this?"

I said, "NO, it wasn't on the menu!"

You had the wrong dream

"You failed because you had the wrong dream."

That was what I wrote on a post-it note and handed to my father this morning after another one of our "life talks."

That was what Diego said to George in the movie "Blow" while they were sitting in prison talking about his life.

That was a quote I wrote down when I was at my last job. Funny it should come to mind now. Again.

My dad asked me if I could do three things right now (beside work for him) what would they be.

He filled in one of them for me, which I felt was a bit unfair. It was to take this insurance job down the street.

I was pressured to come up with two more. They had to be good.

Before I could answer he said. Maybe you should take one of those tests. The ones that tell you what you should do in life.

I nodded my head and thought , "god it is early." "Is it 8:30?"

"What, you don't believe in the tests?" dad said.

"No," is all I said.

"Well maybe it would help you figure out what you don't want to do," he said.

I said I already knew that. I can't be in the medical field. I WILL pass out. I can't be a vet, and I can't be president.

"Can you be an attorney?" he asked.

I don't mind law. I just like crime better. That is why I like the media.. Crime, Crime, Crime. Weather, Weather, Weather...isn't that the mantra.

"Why don't you take the GRE?"

I won't pass it. NOT a test taker.

"Well not with that attitude," he said.

STILL not a test taker.

"Have you thought about your MBA?" again.

Look, I don't want to go back to school. I don't like classes. I don't like tests or notes or textbooks. Why did I graduate in 3.5 years?

"Because you ran out of money?"

I did because I wanted to learn while I was out there, not because some professor said it would be this way. I did it because I ALREADY knew what I wanted. The reason people stay in school is because they don't know what they want. They can't make any decisions. I knew. I was motivated. I finished so I could chase the dream.

"Was broadcast the dream?"

Yes, that is what I wanted to do. That was the original option. That is the first option. It is also the second and the third to answer your earlier question.

That was when I thought of the quote.

Get Out of My Network

I changed my network on Facebook. I had to change it to Tulsa. Otherwise I felt like I was lying to facebook.

Okay technically I have been lying to everyone for six months. My network used to be Dallas, but I didn't live in Dallas.

I didn't realize it would make such a big difference until people kept messaging me saying "hey we should hang out" and I'm like "K I'll be right over."

I was living in Ardmore. Okay, the cat is out of the friggin bag people.

I WAS LIVING IN ARDMORE!!.

Now that I am out of there. I can feel free to admit that. My friends were driving through town a few weeks ago to pick me up. They got to my house and called me. First thing they said was "Pop Quiz Sarah!" ..."What state do you live in?"

I live in Oklahoma. I haven't moved out of the state.

They said I used to say...."Oh you are driving through Dallas, well you should stop by." I was in denial.

So, I changed my network to Tulsa. I'm feeling good about it. I'm not lying anymore. People can now message me and say "how's Tulsa?" and I don't have to think in the back of my head...."I wish I knew" like I did with Dallas.

But at the end of the day, does it really matter what network I am in? Does it really change anything? Isn't the point of a network to be in touch with people? Can't we do that outside our network? If I had changed my network to Dubai would people really considered not keeping in touch...."Oh Dubai...that's a bit out of my network."

I would hope not. So, Tulsa it is. And I invite anyone in the tri-state area networks to contact me to go out. I feel confident I can handle the rejection of not being in the Dallas network anymore...even though geographically I was never really "there" in the first place.

And to avoid any further discrepancies, I actually live in Broken Arrow.

There I said it.

Lucky to be alive

"i was sitting waiting wishing you believe in superstitions then maybe you'd see the signs. lord knows that this world is cruel and I aint the lord no i'm just a fool." - Jack Johnson

I'm at Lacey's house waiting to go to the lake. I would already be at the lake if I hadn't almost died last night.

I was on 1-44 heading south, four lanes, in traffic. The guy in front of me stopped on a dime and I swerved to miss him and instead of heading over the embankment, over corrected and headed back into traffic, my brakes locked and I spun one eighty to land my self in the center lane with traffic barreling head on.

Luckily a lady in a white pathfinder screeched her brakes and stopped before tunneling head on into me at 65 miles per hour. I could see her face through her windshield, I don't doubt that it was a mirror of mine.

Several cars had swerved to miss me. The others stopped.

A semi stopped, a jeep, and about 6 other cars, all four lanes were blocked and the Murano was staring everyone down like a sick game of chicken.

The lady and everyone else hopped out of their cars and came to my window and asked me to roll it down. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to roll the windows down.

I just sat stunned.

The lady asked me if I could drive it to the shoulder. I told her It wouldn't drive.

It wouldn't drive because I had my foot so firmly planted in the brake that it was going to take a crobar to pry it away from the pedal.

She asked if I needed someone to drive it to the shoulder. I said I could do it, as soon as I figured out how to drive.

I managed to get it to the shoulder. A black man in a straw hat waved traffic through while all the drivers who had jumped out of their cars got back in their cars.

The lady came over to my car and said she couldn't believe what she had seen. She asked if I was okay. Lacey was in front of me the whole time. She had watch the what she describes as Nascar events playout in her rearview mirror. She had parked her car on the shoulder and walked back to the scene. She was in shock. I thought I was going to have to drive HER car back.

We drove the Murano to Pep Boys and they said I had broken my tie rods, also some problems with the steering column. They said I was lucky to be alive.

I called my dad, he said I was lucky to be alive.

Today the dealership took my car in and they said I was lucky to be alive.

So I am at laceys, carless, jobless, lakeless, but damn lucky to be alive.

And the moral of the story is.

Andrea and I went and saw the movie "cars" tonight. It was the only thing playing at our lovely Ardmore cinemark. So lovely that the bathrooms don't even have stalls. Who steals a stall? Honestly?

"Cars" was actually our third attempt to find a movie, first we went to see CLICK and walked out in the first 10 minutes. 10 minutes of my life I will never get back. Our second choice was Nacho Libre, can you really blame us for leaving that theater in 10 minutes.

Our third option was cars and at this point I was getting sick of going to movies I never wanted to see in the first place.

This was a movie they tried to tie way too many morals and values into that was ultimately shut down by the fact it was a cartoon about nascar.

I guess it was also proving that I-40 has officially made little towns extinct along route 66. Quick...name three towns on route 66 in Oklahoma.....ummm what's that one I stop at to go pee off of 44??? With the Subway?

The movie also proved you can't win a Piston Cup with out a pit crew.

That fame and money doesn't get you anywhere.

Anyway, I lost track of all the morals when I went speeding down Commerce to get away from the movie theater. Going 25 miles per hour over. I was promptly pulled over by Ardmore PD.

They recognized me from TV and let me off the hook.

Question Mark Age

Dustin Hoffman was on "Inside the Actor's Studio" tonight. The last line of his commentary to his class was about being in your 20's and not knowing what you are going to do with the rest of your life. He called it the question mark age.

"You have the luxury of not knowing and you will never have that again. And not knowing is a luxury. You can PLAY. You MUST do that. You must. It's your only way not to go crazy. Because if you are going to wait for the job then you will DIE."
-Dustin Hoffman on "Inside the Actor's Studio"

Drive Thru Syndrome

I have Drive Thru Syndrome.

I get really really nervous in the drive thru. Make sense of this one for me. I have been on TV countless times, done interviews, been live, made nerve racking calls but when I get to the drive thru I'm as nervous at Katie Couric attempting to do primetime.

I feel like I have to be prepared with an order. Like there is a window of opportunity there and if you miss it you are wasting their time and everyone else behind you. I get nervous, really nervous.

My friend told me last night, why can't you just say "can you give me a second?"

Why do I need a second? Did I not already consciously decide that I wanted Taco Bueno. (I know it was toss up between Bell) I already had a food item in mind or I would not have gone there in the first place. It was the fiesta rice. Anyway, It's not like I sit there and say to myself "ahhhhhh Pollo Loco...never been there, Let's go sample something off of their drive thru menu."

NO we go through drive thrus because we already know what we want! And, I think I have drive thru syndrome because I don't know what I want. EVER. I'm just going through life guessing.

At the drive thru last night, I ordered a combination platter, chicken with no chips and extra rice.

the attendant responded, "DR PEPPER With NO ICE?"

"No" I said, " No chips and extra rice"

"Is that all" he said.

"um".... I said with clammy palms.

"PLEASE PULL AROUND."

As I pulled away from the final window I notice I had extra chips and no rice.

Life Challenged

So, in this fabulous reporter world of job searching, technologically challenged people cannot exist. I know I do not come from the prehistoric world of actually just sending someone a resume on paper in the mail. Nope, I grew up in the information age in which everything is digital and employees are available at the click of a mouse. I HATE IT!!

I was talking to my friend mike on the phone he was trying to help me with my digital problems where I am life challenged. He kept saying you have to bring your self down to the machines level. Ummmm...doesn't he mean up to its level.

If you want a reporting job you have to make a tape, a reel of your work per say that a news director would look at and say ewwww this looks pretty. Well this involves an extensive knowledge of acronyms of which I am relatively unfamiliar...like MPEG DVCAM BETA DVCPRO VHS DVD+R DVD-R DVD+-RW CDR these all mean things related to my tape but are sooooooo different. If something is in one of these I have to put it in the other. To make a long story short I have successfully put all of my lives work separately on to one of all of these. And it is really fun to try and figure out how to get it on to a VHS for a news director.

I called mike because I had hooked up a TV in the back bed room with 2 VCR's connected to it. Easy enough, I want to copy one VHS to another VHS. Not that simple. All of the plugs in the room were geniously installed by an electrician who conveniently made only the bottom plug hot. So I have the TV in one Outlet and and one VCR in another and another VCR in another. all simultaneously hooked up to each other. It looked like a lifesize game of mousetrap from 1984.

I couldn't get anything to record to anything. I'm not cut out for this. I said to mike asking a reporter to take a DVCPRO tape and digitally copy their tape to a PC edit it burn it to a DVD and then put it back in VHS format, just to get a job, is like asking an IT Tech to do a song and dance in their interview.

Happy Father's Day

Wow, am I frustrated right now or what??

I think I could throw my computer through this glass window. I’m so pissed I can barely type.

I created a slide show video for my dad, for father’s day. I must say it looks excellent, but my apologizes --- no one will ever see it.

It will not burn to a disk, or send, or convert to an MPEG, or post online or even effin play on MY computer.

That’s how special it is.

Well I spent all day on it and all I have to show for it is this damn post explaining why he can’t see it.

Am I surprised?

Are YOU surprised? Wait, don’t answer that.

Through this frustration I have decided what I should do with the rest of my life which should make dad proud. I’m perfect for it:

I need to work for an I.T. troubleshooting department, where, I do not fix things…I break them. My slogan can be “There’s nothing I can’t break.”

I think this would be ideal and people all around the world would pay BIG money to figure out what all their problems COULD be.

I’m so unlucky when it comes to those things. I’ve also been thinking I could be a professional gambler except I would always bet against myself.

Like in sports you could bet on me to bet the losing horse or the golfer who didn’t make the cut (ie. I bet Tiger would win the Open)

Which brings me to another point; somebody asked me the other day, why I knew so much about sports, as I relayed lap by lap the final seconds of the Indy.

I answered, I had watched a lot of sports growing up with my father.

Sundays weren’t Sundays unless golf was on the television.

Bowl week wasn’t bowl week unless we tivoed every game and were surprised by every ending.
Summer Saturday mornings weren’t summer Saturday mornings unless they were accompanied by French onion dip and tennis.

Fall Monday nights weren’t fall Monday nights unless we heard the loud phrase screaming through the den “are you ready for some football.”

Then I reflected in my mind the last week in sports I had watched. I’ve been watching the NBA finals. I watched the Sox/Yankees, a bit of the Stanley cup, the French open and several of the world cup games.

But upon my reflection I noticed there was something missing every time.

It wasn’t the dip or the tivo, the nail biters or the sound of the lawn mower running. It wasn’t the lack of the Sooners or Tiger.

It was my father.

I miss him.

So, I guess since I cannot show him this slide show. I will tell everyone about it.

It was a slide show of the last six months or so, where everything got crazy. I wanted to show my dad how life has changed and how he has still remained a perfect father.

I graduated, His daughter had a baby, his mother beat cancer, I moved to ….Oklahoma, and Lori had her eleventh kid (I can’t keep count).

Ann came to the rescue, Kay moved out of her house, my parents settled into their house, I got a job, I got fired.

My parents had a new baby “the formula,” my dad found a new fishing hole, he moved an old friend to his part of town.

Tivo’s stock went up when my father bought seventeen life-time memberships, actually forcing them to stop selling them.

Allison got engaged, Karis got married, Hailey started eating cereal.

….. and Marco Andretti almost won the Indy 500, a fact I never would have known without …my dad.

Come fathers day I miss him even more.

Dad, enjoy the US Open and know that I am there in spirit and hoping to catch the next game, the match, the race with you again another day.

I love you, I miss you and I thank you for everything,

Happy Fathers Day.

Things I should have done sooner

Started a blog
Made some life goals
discovered how to make iced coffee (you actually just ice the coffee)